West Brom have shown their support after Matheus Pereira reveals his mental health battle, that he ‘trained drunk’ and has attempted suicide.
Messages of love and support was sent to the former Baggies player, currently at Cruzeiro, on loan from Saudi Pro League club Al Hilal, following his recent statement about his struggles with mental health.
The outpouring of affection has highlighted the importance of reaching out to friends in need, as well as the significant impact that he has had on the club and its supporters.
Fans have expressed their admiration for his talent and character, emphasising that he will always be welcome at the Championship outfit, of whom he scored 20 goals for over 77 appearances.
We’re all with you, @MatheusPereira.
All of us at West Bromwich Albion salute your courageous statement regarding your battles with mental health problems. ???????? pic.twitter.com/WpNhRr99kr
— West Bromwich Albion (@WBA) April 19, 2024
Baggies, let’s flood the timeline with love for @MatheusPereira.
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— WBA Rainbow Stand ???? (@TheRainbowStand) April 19, 2024
“I ended up playing in the second division, but in England,” Pereira said of his move to Albion in his Players’ Tribune account. “My new club was West Bromwich. Despite yet another change, and I was fed up with them, I jumped at this opportunity. The project was very good — and, in the financial part, equally so.
“There was a clause in the contract that obligated the club to buy me for a lot of money if I played 30 games or if the team moved up to the Premier League. Both things happened. It was my best professional moment. I played well, I felt important to the team, to the fans, and the crazy odds of life were on my side again: a Croatian on the team, [Filip] Krovinovic, who had played for Benfica and spoke Portuguese, helped me a lot.
“The craziest thing of all is that we were competing for the same position. Despite this, at no point did he tease me or stop reaching out to me. In both seasons, I was a standout for West Brom. I performed with a regularity that I had never had before, but that didn’t stop the team from returning to the second division. It was the time of the Covid pandemic, and the clubs decided to hold back on investments.
“An absurd proposal came from Al-Hilal, from Saudi Arabia, and I moved once again. I was scared of what this new change would do to my head, but it was very good financially. I talked to my wife and we decided to accept it. It didn’t take long for the psychological decline to reappear. There isn’t always a specific cause, I think it’s more of a lifetime, but living in Riyadh, I missed my church.
“In West Bromwich we participated in a small Christian community and that strengthened me, I was supported. In Saudi Arabia, there was none. I also started to miss my parents and couldn’t find a way to get back in touch with them. Then one day I woke up and darkness had settled in my soul.
“My wife did what she could. She was a warrior, never left my side and did the right thing to call a friend of mine to stay with me all the time, to be my driver in Saudi Arabia. But it was no use.
“First, trying to get some relief, we started going to Portugal every time we had time off. We would stay on the beach, see some friends, I would pick myself up and… I would collapse again when I returned to Riyadh. Afterwards, I thought it would be a good idea to start drinking again—drinking a lot. Who knows, maybe when I’m drunk I’ll forget a little about myself? Of course I got worse. And it got even worse when the hangover went away and I felt guilty about what I was doing to myself and about not being able to improve.
“If there were stars even in the cloudy sky, as Luis Castro said, they were dim for me. My life was a repetition that I could no longer stand. I asked to leave Al-Hilal without knowing where to go. At that point, I didn’t want to go anywhere. I didn’t want anything, I no longer took pleasure in anything, I wasn’t good for anything. I was nothing. I had already given up playing football.
“It was at that time that the possibility of going to Corinthians appeared. My friend and my wife thought that, in the state I was in, playing for a big team in Brazil with so much media focus could make everything worse. They were right, but I wouldn’t admit it. I just wanted to get out of Arabia, at any cost.
“And that’s how I ended up in Abu Dhabi, against my will. Ah, let’s try one more time. It might be cool. A country with less expression in football, they say it’s a good place to live, safe and so on. “It might be good for you to decompress.” Human beings always have hope, they always think it will work out, right? I already knew that film. Before anything, I knew myself. I knew the extent of my pain and I started to be afraid of where it was taking me.
“The club was Al-Wahda, which put us up to live in a luxury hotel, in an apartment on the 19th floor. To this day, my wife says that the view from up there was beautiful. I don’t remember ever looking at her. For me it was all darkness and despair. I was tired of fighting. I was tired of being tired. I wanted to get rid of so much suffering that I didn’t even understand where it came from. There were nights when I drank three bottles of wine. I trained drunk several times and spent many more times in the hospital with hypokalemia, taking serum to treat the lack of potassium in my blood, because I wasn’t eating, I only drank alcohol.
“One night when I was at home, I grabbed the car keys and ran out. I quickly took the elevator down, took the car from the garage and drove like crazy. I didn’t care about the destination, as long as it was the end.
“Then my cell phone rings. It was my younger sister. I already answered crying. “I can’t take it anymore, I can’t take it anymore, I can’t take it anymore. Help me, for the love of God! I want to kill myself. I need to kill myself.” She had called me to share with me the happiest news of her life: she was going to be a mother. And I was there ruining everything — everything that was near or far from me.
“We talked a lot, my sister said that the baby would need a great uncle to teach him or her how to play ball. This moved me a lot and brought me momentary happiness, which was not enough to silence that death impulse in my head.
“I had stopped in the parking lot of a snack bar called Shake Shack, which is located in Abu Dhabi Bay, to meet my sister. As soon as I switched off my cell phone, I wanted to go to Hudariyat bridge. What if I throw myself away? And that. I’m going to throw myself off this bridge. Ready. He finished. I started the car and the car wouldn’t start. I tried again. Anything. I spent about 10 minutes trying to get the car to start and I couldn’t. I insisted in every way, but it didn’t stick. It felt like there was something stopping me. Until my wife appears, she opens the car door and gives me a hug.
“That night, returning home with her, I felt that it was the Holy Spirit who held me there in the car. And that, somehow, whether through my sister’s call or the key stuck in the ignition, God continued to guide me. Still, I was determined to end my suffering in another way: by giving up football.”
“Football was to blame, it had to be. This life he gave me is good, but very complicated. I don’t know how to deal with her. I can’t even talk to my parents again. So it’s over. He arrives. I don’t want to move here and there anymore, I don’t want to give assists anymore, I don’t want to score goals anymore, I don’t want the crowd’s vibration anymore, I don’t want more money. I’ll stop and then, if I survive, I’ll see what I do with my life. For now I just want to stay in my house, quiet and safe.
“The loan contract with Al-Wahda ended and I returned to Portugal. I was sure that away from football, with time, I would be fine. It worked for a few days. I was fine. Or rather… Better than before. I didn’t need football for anything. The miracle ball was as big a lie as I was. Goodbye, football.
“At that time, I had already promised my wife and myself that I would not return to Saudi under any circumstances and would not fulfill the remainder of the contract at Al-Hilal. But then the Brazilian team went to play a friendly against Senegal in Alvalade, Sporting’s stadium.
“Well, you know what? I’m here for fun, with time to spare, I’m going there. I bought a ticket and went to watch. Suddenly, sitting in the stands, I find myself emotional. I feel my heart beat differently. I started to fantasise that the coach was going to call me and I was going to go on the field to help the team.
“I let myself be carried away by these thoughts and ended up in my childhood Belo Horizonte, when life was more difficult, but less complicated. The whole family was together, united, as we always were before leaving for Portugal, and I was just a little boy surviving pneumonia playing in the street with my brothers and friends. It seemed like a feeling so simple, so silly and so genuine, that that day I understood: the best things in life are the simplest, the most authentic.
“Would I be able to find an authentic life in football again? Would there still be time? Where would this be possible? Which way?
“The path he showed me was the five most beautiful stars in the sky. Those five that shine in an infinite and glorious blue. When Cruzeiro came to me, I imagined the five stars shining above my heart and said: “Holy shit, that’s it!” What could be more authentic in my life than Cruzeiro?
“I’ve always been from Cruzeiro. Before everything happened, when football was just an immense and true joy, I played football wanting to be Alex, wanting to win the Triple Crown, even though all my family supported my rival.
“If it could work, if there was any hope, Cruzeiro was my only path. I gathered my things in Portugal and, anxiously, for the first time I made a big change of my own free will.
“At Cruzeiro I found more than peace. I found myself again. It seems silly, but it’s not. Because in the middle of darkness, and I’ve been there a lot, the hardest thing is to recognise each other. And this makes a situation that is already bad much worse. We don’t know who he is anymore.
“Reaching a state of mental degradation in which you nullify yourself to the point of wanting to die is a violent and complicated process to get out of. It brings a lot of pain to you, to those you love and to those who love you. No one gets out of this alone. You need to ask for help and believe in Luis Castro’s words: “There will always be stars lighting up the sky”. I know it’s not easy, but please believe and ask for help. Life doesn’t give up on us. She insists.
“I’m here for proof. Therapy helped me a lot, and God showed me a light at the end of the tunnel. In my case, the light of the stars, which guided me in the darkness and restored shine to my eyes. It was football extending its hand to me — yes, once again.
“That’s why, when I crossed the Toca gate, in July last year, I promised to hold that hand with all the strength in the world, to be eternally grateful and to repay the trust of my favorite club with achievements.
“I hope this testimony of mine can help other people who are suffering. I’m fine today. Better than before. And I still have things to resolve and heal.
“But, finally, I recognize myself again: in the relief of no longer needing to hide everything I’ve been through, in the reunion with my childhood passion where it was always there and, mainly, in the Mineirão full of Cruzeiro residents on a night with a starry sky, where I found myself I see myself sober, whole and happy to fulfill my promise.”
You can read what he said full by clicking HERE.
Fans sent their support as Matheus Pereira reveals his mental health battle, that he ‘trained drunk’ and has previously attempted suicide…
@_N47H4N: @shilensays if it can be done we should be doing everything we can to bring him home.
@GriffoWba: You will always be loved here Matheus! Your impact on the pitch and on this fanbase was absolutely incredible. You will always have a place in our hearts! ????????
@wutenderman: Come back…….. the love will heal you ????
@lewis_trout1: All the best baller ???? @MatheusPereira
@RichardBaker15: Bring him back!
@tomesenoglu: All the best Matheus
@jackutfa: bring him back man it’s what he needs
@pat4wba: Normally jump on the bandwagon but this guy was something else & is loved here. Be amazing to cut a deal to get him back ????
@grorty_dickos: ‘Maestro’ the Baggies will always be with you. Be strong….
@Mossi28: All the best @MatheusPereira still one of the best in recent memory.
@WBA_Rhys: So glad the king is feeling better must have been horrible for him to go through that ????????
@KenWhittall68: Love you so much Matheus ❤️
@KiranGill0: He’s our sweet prince ????????
@jaydeeandcoke: Come home @MatheusPereira
@sideboard_billy: Come home sweet prince @MatheusPereira
@JimiNicholls: Bring the ???? home ????????
@Will_Ellis17: BRING HIM HOME ❤️
@ch_hvy02: What a legend
@jim_e21: Always a home for you in B71! ????⚪️
@maxtisdale02: Love you Matheus xxx
@AndrewDowning25: Come home @MatheusPereira
@lukemills94: Bring him home!!!!
@JDWBA2: Wasn’t with us long but he’s the most gifted player I’ve seen for play for the baggies. Magic.
@SusieBeees: All the best @MatheusPereira come back anytime ????
@DaveThomas79: @shilensays @CarlosCorberan bring him home
@GeorgeWoah: Love you @MatheusPereira
@19craigscott73: Come home lad ????????
@Rees_wba: Bring him home lads ????⚪
